As a child, I heard on countless occasions, how my parents argued and ‘fought’ in the bedroom, because my dad was cheating on my mother. I saw how unhappy Mum always was, and how fast she aged and looked wrinkly even in her late 30s. While she worried daily and felt miserable, dad always looked good, and happy, and unconcerned, and handsome, and young, even as they both aged. There was a time someone mistook my mother for my daddy’s older sister, because according to that person, there was no way my dad could have been married to that ‘old’ lady; meanwhile, in actual sense, my father was about 10 years older than my Mum.

Rather than feeling like your mental health is getting in the way of your typical desires and habits, maybe you find you’re just…more indifferent than anything. “Most of the time I’ll just think about getting off in the middle of the afternoon but then decide to wait until nighttime,” Lane T.*, 21, tells SELF. “But without fail, by nighttime, I just look at my vibrator in its box on the floor by my bed, think, Eh, maybe tomorrow, and play Animal Crossing or watch TikToks instead.” 7. Your pre-pandemic loneliness is exacerbated. I am married to a preacher. I love him, but he’s hardly home. Preaching assignments here and there. The little time we get to be together too is always ruined by visitors and phone calls from Church members and their ’wahala’. Dave, I can’t even compete for his attention, let alone, time. That’s why I am having an affair with my Ex-boyfriend. At least, he sees me.” Best sexual experience: when my boyfriend asked ‘are you sure?’ before our first time. I realised in that moment that no one had ever actually asked me that before. Consent is sexy.’ Hey, now might just be the perfect time for some exploration and discovery. “I’ve started watching a lot more porn and learned a lot more about my tastes and my kinks in the process,” Jane D., 28, tells SELF. “It’s been nice. Maybe I will learn to become more comfortable with my sexuality.” 14. You’ve branched out with your porn and erotica consumption. When we got to our room, I caught my wife pleasuring herself in the shower, which has never happened before. In fact, she’s pretty much given upon sex. I called her out on it and she mentioned that her massage included a happy ending and she had not cum so hard in years. Of course, the closest I got was having my butt cheeks massaged. I felt ripped off and all she said was “maybe next time.”

6. Girl on the Net

I said, ** no!....there are so many guys walking around here with at least half a ** because of the way you look in it! After two frightening experiences during sex including rape, I was struggling with the concept of penetration. My current partner and I took things very slow (I didn’t explain until after we started having penetrative sex why I was ‘funny’ about it) and he couldn’t have been more supportive. You don’t really realize the small, exciting moments you experience every day until they’re gone, huh? “I’ve been married and monogamous for almost 10 years, but I like flirting lightly with the good-looking barista, my hot yoga instructor, some male friends, et cetera,” Corey H., 39, tells SELF. “Now I can’t flirt with anyone. Gone are the days when I’d go to the coffee shop during downtime and chit-chat with the barista or purposefully screw up a yoga pose so the hot instructor would come adjust me. I’m just bored and want to flirt again. I love my husband and don’t want to cheat; I just want to feel pretty and desired.” 16. You’re feeling more emotional and intense. I ended up falling off the bed, dragging him down with me & onto some friends who were sleeping on the floor.”

We all watched as she put on some music and did a strip tease, all the way down to fully naked, then she stretched out on the floor and spread her legs. Best experience was with a best friend of mine. It came after a breakup and I hadn’t been with anyone for over a year. It was incredible and we just connected. Nobody has come close since.’

2. You’re masturbating a ton out of boredom.

The third night after I moved in with her I went to her bedroom and told her I want to see her get undressed. She protested but I told her if she wants me to stay with her she had to obey in what I told her from now on. As she did I told her to remove her underwear as well and told her to lay on the bed nude. I looked at grandma for a while and then wished her a good night and left. The second wife of grandpa was a plump, submissive woman who asked my parents if I could keep her company because she was affraid living alone after grandpa died. I was 17 at that time, didn't had a gf but was horny as hell every day. My husband lost his job and was home for a long while. I watched him go for one unsuccessful job interview after the other. I watched him depressed and almost giving up hope. I knew of someone who could help him start all over again. That ‘someone’ is actually the father of a former school mate. That ‘someone’ is the person I am sleeping with, aside my husband. He gave my husband an opportunity to work again. My husband only believes he has the job because he is qualified for it. We managed to make everything look formal: as in, how he heard of the vacancy, the formal processes to application, etc. He has no idea about his boss and I. I am in love with both men, Dave. I don’t know how possible that can be, but it’s happening to me right now. And they both love me too.” Listen, we had to start here. For some people the dial has been turned all the way up, whether that’s due to separation from usual sexual partners or a lot of time and space for horniness to thrive. “I’m just as horny as I was pre-pandemic, but being at home means that I can indulge in it at any time,” Kris C., 28, tells SELF. “It’s like my horniness has been unleashed. Without the need to go anywhere but my room, I’ve become a much more frequent masturbator, averaging anywhere from two to five times a day.” 2. You’re masturbating a ton out of boredom. Dave that was the ‘turning point’ for me. I have been ‘living’ since – since. I am still in this marriage because I wanted kids. I have kids now. Their father takes very good care of their every need, and mine too. I am just being careful so I am not caught one of these days. An affair may not be a good thing, however, it has made me look young, and my husband is pleased with my fresh looks. In his head, I am looking good for him. Sex is awesome in my matrimonial home, thanks to the outside experience. What he doesn’t know wouldn’t hurt him in any way.”